One of my favorite skits on Saturday Night Live was always Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. They were short little pieces that rarely made a whole lot of sense but were always so awkward or absurd they were hilarious. Like the cowboy “who loved the land so much, he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. At her funeral when the preacher said “dust to dust,” some people laughed and the cowboy shot them.”

2016 was kind of like Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. So much awkward and absurd shit happened, all you can really do is laugh about it. While it was all going down, I wanted to cry, curse and/or spit. But now that it’s over, I feel like maybe we should create some sort of PTSD support group for those of us who made it. (RIP to those who didn’t) It’s like we survived the zombie apocalypse and now we have to rebuild civilization with duct tape and kudzu vines.

But no use crying over spilt milk. As my dad always said, you have to pick yourself up by your boot straps, dust yourself off and keep on going.

In 2017, like millions (if not billions) of others, I vowed to do a lot of things differently this year. So in the vein of originality (hah!) and the fact that I like to write lists (here’s my Bucket List, 30 Questions, A list of things I suck at as an adult, My Top 20 Halloween Horror Flick picks, to name a few!) I decided to make a short list of things that I hope to accomplish in 2017 but may or may not give up on in less than 30 days…

In No Particular Order:

1. Buy a Junker Motorcycle to Rebuild

I’d like to sell my 800 CC Suzuki Boulevard and buy a junker. The goal is to pick up a 250 CC or something a little smaller than what I have now that needs a little TLC. Something I won’t feel guilty in tearing apart and making it completely custom to suit me. I don’t want anything with a fancy paint job or pristine chrome. I want something that looks like it has been rode hard and put away wet. I really like rat rods and bobbers that look homemade!

Think: kind of like Daryl Dixon’s ‘new’ motorcycle, but Travis found me hot pink header wrap for my pipes. Ha!


I ignored my gut feeling and listened to everyone else’s opinion when I told them I wanted a 250 and let them talk me into a bigger bike. “You’ll grow out of it and hate a smaller bike!” They said. But listen… I never ride highways, I live IN TOWN and I do most of my riding in 35 mph areas. When I want to ride longer distances I climb on the back of Travis’ much bigger and more comfortable Yamaha Roadliner. I want something smaller for in-town riding and leisurely strolls through the country. We rode 250’s in the Moto-Ohio class and they were a blast!

Travis almost completely rebuilt the Yamaha Vstar and he loves that bike so much more because of that. Now I’d like to do that for myself. Over the years, I’ve really gotten into wrenching on things. Travis has always enjoyed working on vehicles and my interest in them sort of started as a way to hang out with him and help him out. We always have a really good time when we’re working on stuff, and there’s almost always a good story to tell afterwards. Together we’ve rehabbed/rebuilt 2 motorcycles, a pop-up camper, a boat (funny story about that boat here) and done a lot of the work on all of our cars. The only thing that keeps us from doing ALL of the work, is the fact that we don’t have a garage. 😦

2. Finish My Master Bedroom

Ugh. Like two little kids saving up to buy ourselves a special toy, we both saved ALL of our birthday and Christmas money for a couple years and finally got started on that room in February 2016! We bought a new mattress, new curtains, window hardware, linens, nightstands, lamps, installed all new outlets and light switches, painted the whole room, hung a new ceiling fan, and cleaned the carpets.

Bedroom Remod
Here’s a pic of what we started working with. Yep… lots of muddy diaper brown. This room felt like a depressing, dark cave. And Travis looks super thrilled to be having his pic taken in this photo!

Then we ran out of money (and steam) in mid-May before we had the whole thing finished. 😦

The idea was to pay for and work on things a little at a time as we got paid each week. We still wanted to redo the ceilings with bead board to cover up the shitty textured ceilings, build a closet and refurbish this sweet antique desk we bought for a song off of Craigslist.

However, Travis’ mom was in an automobile accident in June… Our whole world pretty much came to a screeching halt. Things were really scary for a few months, and we spent a lot of sleepless nights praying for miracles. And then in August our prayers came true! She opened her eyes and started making progress! In October she got to come home, where she continues to improve every day. She is pretty much living proof that miracles really do happen!

So now that it’s a new year, we’re going to put that room back in order. (I know, the story of our lives…) We may forgo the ceiling and just slap a new coat of paint up there, and the closet may not be as grand as originally planned but I can’t live with the pile of stuff under tarps in a corner of my bedroom any longer! We’re really honing in on the things around that house that NEED to be done versus the things we WANT to do, because we’re really hoping to get the house onto the market soon. Which brings me to #3!

3. Put Our House on the Market

I can’t live without a garage or a second bathroom any longer…

There have been one too many close calls after a meal at our favorite local Mexican joint (that we lovingly call “Fiesta Merry Crotchy”) where one of us has ended up tapdancing outside the occupied bathroom door praying they didn’t have to use the cat litter box to prevent soiling themselves.*

*This really almost happened once.

And a garage… It seems as though nothing ever breaks down on our vehicles until it is 13 degrees outside. We NEED somewhere to work on stuff in inclement weather. Plus, don’t forget we currently own three motorcycles which have to be stored elsewhere in the winter or in our 10×10 SHED or on our porch in the summer.

Our hope is to find a house with at least a 2 car garage or a place with some sort of out-building where Trav can set up a little workshop and put all his tools, supplies and lawn equipment. (Remember that time we had a lawnmower living in our master bedroom?!)

We have a LOT to do to get the house ready and not a lot of cash to do it, so we’re going to have to find some thrifty ways to make a little go a long way! Plus I have a feeling that this year is going to be a RECORD BREAKING year for the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge! I’m honestly thinking about renting a dumpster this year and just throwing everything away…

4. Less “Screen Time”

I want to put down my phone and shut off the TV more and spend more time paying attention to the people and things going on around me. I want to spend less time texting/Facebooking and spend more time WITH people. Or at least call them more often!

We lost one of our fur babies, Moby, in December. (Like I said, 2016 REALLY sucked for us!) He was diagnosed with Lymphoma in 2015. He’s always had a slew of health issues, so we had suspicion he had something going on for quite some time before that. For the last couple years he was on a lot of medication which he had to take every day. We were happy to be his people and to have him with us as long as we did and loved every day of it. But the meds, paired with his people anxiety that prevented us from taking him with us most places, it was impossible to board him and we didn’t have anyone who we felt comfortable with dog-sitting him.

I like to think he’s hanging out now with Carrie Fisher, David Bowie, Alan Rickman and Prince!

After he was gone, we realized that the one “silver lining” (for lack of a better term) was that now we’ll be able to be a lot more spontaneous and mobile. We still have our pup, Carli Monster, the One-Eyed Wonder Dog, but she is super easy to cart around, and she gets along with anyone and everything!

Our other furry kids Maggie Cat and the Fabulous Ferret Brothers, Edgar and Dweezle are usually ok for a night or two at home solo. Any longer, we can usually bribe a friend into hanging out at the house for a few days, or we’ve even used a pet service to have someone stop by check in a couple times to make sure there’s fresh food and water and that the litter box isn’t overflowing.

So all of this means more time with friends and family and hopefully less time with our face glued to our phone screens. Though he’ll deny it, Travis has to work on that more than me. He has an addiction to Googling everything, so it’s kind of like living with a live male version of Siri.

5. Stop Procrastinating… About EVERYTHING!

My motto for 2017 is a favorite borrowed phrase from my dear, departed friend, Bil: “NIKE”… (Just do it.)

I’d like to say to myself, “Self: Get your shit together!” Stop waiting for “the perfect time” to do shit, because more than likely that perfect time is never going to happen. You don’t need a new year for an excuse to do something.

Paint the ceiling? Start an Etsy shop? Lose the weight? Clean the basement? Write a blog post?



One thought on “Deep Thoughts – Bye 2016!

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